“Non-crime, hate incident that we have to investigate”

H/T MissPiggy

Story here:

I figured I would get mine in before all you guys do. And PLEASE DO!

There once was a cop from North Humberside

Arrested a docker who made tranny cry.

It wasn’t a crime but the cops had the time

Something George Orwell called thinking crime

About Eeyore

Canadian artist and counter-jihad and freedom of speech activist as well as devout Schrödinger's catholic

44 Replies to ““Non-crime, hate incident that we have to investigate””

  1. Who can resist?

    There oncw was a cop from North Humber
    Who being somewhat of a bumbler
    Arrested a docker on suspicion of hate
    A crime quite unknown ’till of late.

      • Extra points yust fer yusink der “Nowt”. Overwall yop-drawer yuse of yokel wernakular.

        PS: Time for your appreciation ribbon. I give you, the ultimate prison food for Muslims [waves at Guantanamo]. After all, nothing says, “£ü¢k halal” like a pair of pork faggots (Totally SFW). Now, by popular demand, with more sauce!

        As if this world doesn’t already have enough saucy faggots.

  2. I have called to see what your thoughts are
    Said the cop on the phone last night
    For whatever they are

    I have called to check what your thoughts are
    Said the cop on the phone last night
    Cause whatever they are is important to us
    For we insist they always be right.

    is important to us

  3. I have called to check what your thoughts are
    Said the cop on the phone last night
    For what ever they are is important to us
    ‘Cause we insist they always be right.

  4. I committed the crime
    Of posting a rhyme
    That stated that girls can’t be boys
    Came a knock on my door
    At a quarter-past four
    With Constable Mary-Joe George–
    “You’ve committed the action,
    Of a hate-mongering infraction,
    That will get you from five to ten.
    Subsection three–see paragraph B–says:
    “There once was a man from East London,
    Who flirted with girls with a winkie,
    But one girl complained,
    And so he was shamed,
    When they bobbed his proverbial dinkie.”

    “And this,” said the constable perfunctorily but with just a note of disgust, “is what the criminal code says today.”

    “I know what I lack
    Is a good solid whack
    By a HeShe like you, dear officer.
    But in my defense
    I swear I repent
    And I’ll never do it again.”

    “Well, the damage is done,” said MaryJoe George, “so you must come along with me.
    The judge ain’t so bad–he’s in transition so he’s sad–but soon he’ll be glad he’s a she.”

    “My head is quite spinning,” I said to the cop, “it’s all so very confusing. I yearn for the time when men were just men, and women were sweet and so soothing. But now look at you with half your head shaved, and a slithering neck tatoo. There’s a ring through your nose like a bull and it shows–all men are red flags to you.

    I know, I know I’m pushing my luck
    The longer my rant goes on
    But posting a rhyme and doing hard time
    In the land that invented Democracy?”

    “I’ve heard quite enough,” said Officer George, “You’ve the right to remain a silent white male. I suggest you take my advice and not talk back to the judge. Like I says, heshe’s not in the best mood.

    And so, as I stood before the judge pronouncing my sentence, a diddly danced in my head:

    “There once was a gal from East London,
    Who shouted that chivalry’s dead.
    But then a man held her door,
    And her eyes begged for more,
    But her mouth said you bugger drop dead!”

  5. “By Faith you are Saved” said the Vicar
    “Take and believe that you are!”
    By sinking to this
    A prayer for a kiss
    They arrested the childhoods of laughter.

  6. Poor old Harry The Owl,
    Accused of making Transgenders howl.
    Dare disagree with Libtard madness,
    Police soon will find your address.
    PC culture is a time bomb ticking,
    Step outta line and they’ll check your thinking.

  7. The gummint of old England town
    Had a tribe they could not mess around.
    With a wink and a grin,
    They brung Mohammedans in,
    And now it’s an easy shakedown!

  8. Or to quote G. K. Chesterton:

    The International Idea
    The largest and the clearest
    Is welding all the nations now
    Except the one that’s nearest…..

    The villas and the chapels where
    I learned with little labour
    The way to love my fellow-man
    And hate my next-door neighbour.

  9. Humberside is quite the place
    Cops at the ready, apace
    To whip up a frenzy
    From UK to NZ
    For not taking their kick in the face

  10. The Thought Police, having no pride
    Fell into an outhouse and died
    With no hullabaloo
    NH fell in too
    And now they’re interred side-by-side

  11. What Muslim could ever resist
    A chance to get even more pissed
    Not with fine bitter
    But instead on Twitter
    All typed with the limpest of wrist

  12. ‘I despise B. Malik and al-Nabit and Auf and B. al-Khazraj.
    You obey a stranger who is none of yours, one not of Murad or Madhhij.

    Do you expect good from him after the killing of your chiefs
    Like a hungry man waiting for a cook’s broth?

    Is there no man of pride who would attack him by surprise
    And cut off the hopes of those who expect aught from him?

    I despise the new-immigrant vote
    Who gave up a Birthright of note
    And now it is taken
    They say it’s mistaken
    Promotion’s the fault of the scroat.

    (Rest in peace ?A?m?? bint Marw?n https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asma_bint_Marwan )

  13. Mohammad, a Muslim, implicit
    Decided on Luton to visit
    There was black tar and White flesh
    And panties with crotch mesh
    But nary a goat and he missed it.

  14. The poem that started this all:
    Restless Ellie ?????
    You’re a man.

    Your breasts are made of silicone
    Your vagina goes nowhere
    And we can tell the difference
    Even when you are not there
    Your hormones are synthetic
    And lets just cross this bridge
    What you have you stupid man
    Is male privilege.
    1:05 PM · Nov 22, 2018 · Twitter

  15. For quoting unspeakable rhymes,
    And clinging to old paradigms –
    The cops come to inspect,
    But they leave with respect,
    If you say the Shahada three times!

  16. This is fun.

    The Cross will make Lucifer fly,
    And sunlight makes Dracula die,
    And an Assalam stops,
    All the Humberside cops,
    And the girly ones sit down and cry.

  17. Racism is believing in a class called “Race”
    As simple as detecting a mole on your face
    Making the inference
    That you have some difference
    Greater or lesser in Space

    Now, I can’t help noticing “breed”
    Of which I’m happy to concede
    That Nature and Nurture
    Bestows a departure
    Away from their Adam and Eve.

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