About Eeyore

Canadian artist and counter-jihad and freedom of speech activist as well as devout Schrödinger's catholic

8 Replies to “Best Donald Trump speech yet?”

  1. Wow. What a great speech. When governor Justin Trudeau of the great American shadowstate, Canada, heard it he didn’t know what to do. He didn’t really understand it all but knew viscerally that it wasn’t good. So he turned to his wife and asked her what she thought, but she just shrugged. She was busy trying to do her makeup like Melania’s. She sent him to ask a native elder. So he went to the backyard of his official residence to ask the Algonquin elder, who was smoking legalized weed in a peace pipe in a teepee, what he thought. The elder told him to get lost until he was willing to give back all that stolen land. So he went to a woman on the street and asked, “What did Trump’s speech mean, ma’am?” And she slapped him in the face for using the wrong pronoun. Then he went to a union boss and asked him, and he told Trudeau that the only way the great state of Canada could compete with other states was to raise the minimum wage to $100 per hour, which made alot of sense to him, but it didn’t explain everything. So he went to ask an illegal Muslim migrant who had just escaped Trump’s USA into Quebec. The Muslim told him not to worry. Once Canada reunited him with his four wives and eight-hundred kids there would be no need for welfare because having children would be his welfare and old age pension. Besides, he said, Canada would soon be under sharia law. This made Justin feel better, but there were still questions. So he called up his good friend George Soros. “Don’t believe a thing Trump says,” Soros told him. “The future belongs to we postmodern elites!”

    Well, after Justin hung up the telephone he had to think long and hard about what he had just heard. He was pretty sure he knew what a post was. That was the thing his wife, Sophie, tied him to every night before they went to bed. Modern meant something shiney and new and sort of futuristic. Like his favourite cartoon The Jetsons. But his head was spinning. How many people did he have to ask until he knew what he should think? He hated when he was forced to think for himself, and vowed that he would pass a law where no Canadian would have to do such a terrible thing.

    That night after he fell asleep tied to his post, Justin Trudeau had a dream. He and Melania were walking on a beach holding hands. The sand squished between his toes, making him giggle like a little school girl. “What do you want to be when you grow up, Justin?” asked Melania with the accent he so adored.

    “When I grow up I want to be just like my daddy,” Justin replied.

    Then Donald Trump appeared from nowhere. There was a sad woman holding a mop standing behind him.

    “Daddy!” Justin shouted as he ran over to give Donald Trump a big-boy hug. “I’m soooo happy to see you! Who’s the sad sack with the mop?”

    “That’s your wife, Justin,” said Trump. “Wakie-wakie.”

    • Now that was classic. Poor Little potato or, as they tend to call him over at BCF, Super Socks. Whatever else he may be. deep thinker he is not. I could almost feel sorry for him, almost – if he wasn’t busily ruining Canada.

    • … the great American shadowstate, Canada…

      Otherwise known as “America’s attic”.

  2. If Trump delivered that speech without a TelePrompTer, he is one of the best orators (without rating as an ideologue) since JFK.

    An off-the-cuff speech like that counts for more than 100 of them that aren’t.