It is becoming increasingly obvious everywhere, the most recent incident being Sweden, that we have a very serious problem. One which can only be fixed with a genuine commitment from all Western governments. This problem is ancient. It goes back to before the bronze age most likely but it has become so much worse now and will take thousands of social workers and hundreds of millions of dollars to even make a dent on it.
The problem of course as everybody already knows, is the issue of radicalized butter knives, How this, can become this seemingly overnight and with no warning or notice except perhaps an uptick in internet use and a strange new disinterest in spreading butter.
While experts do not exactly understand the root cause of the problem, they speculate that it may have something to do with wifi broadcasts into cutlery drawers and cabinets from extremist websites, as well as possibly over-polishing of some silverware. But mostly experts are stunned at the recent spate of violent extremist cutlery attacks across the Western world from Oklahoma where a giant extreme radicalized dessert spoon took the head off of a secretary while she was having an otherwise normal conversation with a coworker about not wanting to convert to Islam. Not long before that, a British infantryman was killed and also decapitated by a radicalized salad fork that some say had spent a lot of time near a cell tower broadcasting extremist and far right wing propaganda. The extremist cutlery in this case was assisted also by an automobile which also had suddenly decided not to obey the usual rules of the road.
While experts remain utterly baffled by these and hundreds of other violent-radical-extremist silverware attacks like the one in Sweden recently at Ikea, they offer the following video, that while not spot on, may offer a glimpse of understanding as to why these ‘Objets de cuisine’ may transform the way they do.