‘Not in the face!’ Is this the stupidest invention of all time?

I think ‘bullet resistant’ would be a more accurate adjective.


Bulletproof whiteboard created to protect teachers and students from shooters


January 25, 2013

Hardwire Armor Systems' ballistic whiteboard

Hardwire Armor Systems’ ballistic whiteboard

Given the horrific event that occurred last month in Newtown, Connecticut, it’s not surprising that we’re seeing a rise in products designed specifically to protect children against shootings in schools. One of the latest such devices is a bulletproof dry-erase whiteboard.

Made by Maryland-based Hardwire Armor Systems, the 18 x 20-inch (46 x 51-cm) ballistic whiteboard is made to be carried around the classroom by the teacher, who would ordinarily use it as a non-intimidating-looking teaching aid – it weighs less than four pounds (1.8 kg), and has rubberized handles on the back.

In the event of an attack, the idea is presumably that the teacher could grab the board, get between the shooter and the students, then use it to protect both themselves and the children. Its bullet-stopping capabilities come thanks to Dyneema, a polyethylene-based material developed by the company. The board is reportedly capable of absorbing multiple clips of ammunition from point-blank range without ricochet or injury, as can be seen in the video below.

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About Eeyore

Canadian artist and counter-jihad and freedom of speech activist as well as devout Schrödinger's catholic

19 Replies to “‘Not in the face!’ Is this the stupidest invention of all time?”

  1. The Criminal shoots the holder of the whiteboard once in the lower abdomen. The holder then drops the whiteboard. A shot to the chest or head follows.

    Liberals are just stupid.

    How many movies have you seen the protaganist shoot someone in the feet or legs. Jason Stratham does it in the movie “Crank”.

    If a criminal cannot think of this on his own, most of them have certainly seen popular movies.

  2. For the movie trope the last words of a bad guy who dies after defending himself with a ballistic whiteboard should be “Inconceivable”

    To steal a line from the movie “Princess Bride”

  3. Sorry, my mistake. It just didn’t click with me that this was a liberal idea, although now that I realise this then it doesn’t surprise me at all. Maybe I should have read it all first.
    But what other commenters are saying is correct. It just wouldn’t work. You can’t just run around defending yourself with a piece of board waiting for the shooter to run out of ammo. That’s assuming that the board would be of any use at all, which it probably wouldn’t, at least not for long.
    The only way to defend is to counter-attack. A tooled-up teacher would be a far better prospect!

  4. Bob: Not to mention that this article explains that the teacher is supposed to actually carry this around with her at all times. A 4 Lbs. thing strapped to their arms and none of the students (presumably) are supposed to know why suddenly all the teachers are rigged like Roman soldiers except they can dry-erase their shields.

    Erasable shields and no spears. Think the Roman empire would have lasted?

    I guess they can write, “Dont shoot” on them and hope their students at least know how to read that much.

  5. I think that they should have leaflets outside the school gates reminding would-be-murderers that killing children is wrong, and maybe samples of organic vegan cuisine outside the school entrance so that the psychopath can have a little snack before he comes in. A meat-free nibble should help to get rid of any aggression that he has and maybe he’ll change his mind about killing any school kids.
    Perhaps also, one of the teachers can be trained in Indian head massage. This will soothe the fury of any potential assassin.
    Next, I’d like to see all schoolkids wearing bullet-proof romper suits (all in pink of course, that way there is no gender segregation and boy pupils can get in touch with their feminine sides).
    The next step is to have peaceful verses from the Koran painted over the school gates to remind any violent criminals that we’re all nature’s children and that embracing each other and each others cultures is far better than shooting guns.
    Finally, there should be a petting farm, not just for the kids, but for the gun-toting maniac. Fluffy bunny rabbits should be ample anger management.
    I know that this would cost a lot of money to implement in every school, but hey, that’s what taxpayers are for!

  6. Insane Shooter holds his gun to just one child’s head, and politely requests,” Maam, will you kindly put that white offensive thingy down, or the kid gets it”.

  7. Santor, giving the teacher a gun will only force the shooter to carry a white board also. Mind you, then it would complete the circle and be a complete farce.

  8. Ramjet:

    Thanks for the laugh. But there is a serious component to that. The teachers will then have to have taser proof erasers. Soon the staff will be so burdened down with defensive gear that the union will make the taxpayer hire a new layer of personnel just to carry it all for them during class.

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