Category Archives: funny

Funny incidents in Germany: Woman makes 7 Assaulters Cry, and Merkel’s Husband’s Wardrobe Malfunction a silent Cry for Help?

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1, Sexual Assault? Police stops seven crying men in downtown Essen: “Woman sprayed us with teargas”
July 24., 2017

Essen. Mysterious Incident in Essen: Police are trying to shine light into the dark of a possible assault on Friday to Saturday night.
At 2:09 AM, a witness informed the police and said that a group of young men was assaulting a young woman at the cathedral on Kettwiger Street.
The woman might have defended herself with a self defense spray. Thereupon, the seven young men allegedly ran away.

Police stops the group of men
Some of the men ran into Kettwiger Street towards Viehofer Street. Here, the police officers stopped them shortly thereafter, near a discotheque.

The men who reside in Essen and Castrop-Rauxel explained crying that they were sprayed with teargas by a woman.
But police were unable to find the woman. It remains unclear if it was dangerous battery on part of the woman, or a sexual assault by the men.
The officers filed a criminal complaint that same night.
Police ask witnesses, and especially the young woman, to get into contact with the Police Essen. The service line 0201-8290 will be operating 24 hours for hints and questions.

2. Is Merkel’s Husband’s Bayreuth Wardrobe a Silent Cry For Help?*

Coincidence or Silent Cry for Help? Merkel and husband at the opening of the annual Bayreuth Festival on Tuesday.

Angela Merkel and her husband attended the opening of the annual Bayreuth Festival for a performance of Wagner’s Die Meistersinger von Nürnberg. Netizens have noticed the odd wardrobe malfunction of her husband, 68 year old quantum chemist, and professor, Joachim Sauer. Coincidence or a silent cry for help?

* We are satirizing SJW responses to the American First Lady’s tweets, and wardrobe choices 😉

How many CNN crews does it take to change a lightbulb?

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This is based on a comment by Perfectchild. Please put your punchlines in the comments under this post. Feel free to change the joke to your favorite fake-news site like the NYT or whoever.

Ill try and put the answers here in the post as they come up.

A couple of possibilities for starters:

  1. None. The whole thing is done with Green-screen FX in studio with the actors claiming it was in Saudi Arabia.
  2. One crew to break the current woking bulb, a second crew to film its replacement and an extra camera man claiming to be a casual witness to the whole thing.

 

Brilliant bit of satire at Donald Trump’s expense

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In the free world, it must be forgiven if its funny. And this is.

This is what Political satire should be. What a pity that we don’t get to see it when there is a leftist and more classical tyrannical anti-freedom leader like Obama or Trudeau. But thank God Trump is in office. Already putting comedians and film editors to work and getting them overtime.

H/T Egri Nok.

 

Could Mel Brooks be the ‘Producer’ of Hillary Clinton’s campaign?

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Ok stick with me here a minute.

There are a number of things that taken on their own, ‘just don’ make no sense’ about Hillary’s campaign strategy. Lets look at a few from just the past few days:

  1. Hillary Clinton avoiding the media on campaign tour

(It is extremely unusual that someone running for president would avoid the press one might think. Triply so for a Democrat)

2. She seems to cough her way through speeches. Which I suppose saves a lot of writer expenses and TelePrompTer costs, but is an odd choice for content on a campaign speech even with the lower word price on campaign speeches.

    3. Hillary gets $500,000.00 from a Pakistani man who got a promise to criminalize criticism of islam from her for the money. This is from someone who actually did read the 1st amendment and understands it, unlike the constitutional expert who lives in the White House at this time.

4. Hillary Clinton angers supporters by making them wait hours for a 5 minute speech. (I wonder if she coughed her way through it?)

It is also well known that Hillary, with Obama’s help quite often, has been raising money quite consistently and quite well and with serious dedication. I am guessing she doesn’t cough her way through those meetings nor is she incoherent. I remember quite a few headlines about things Obama did not attend because he was at a fund raiser, some of them at least must have been for her campaign.

Now lets connect the dots.

For those who have seen Mel Brooks’ hit play/movie, ‘The Producers’, if you run through the plot line in your head you may see the connection here yourself. For those who have not I suggest you watch the movie, I recommend the original version with Zero Mostell and Gene Wilder, as soon as possible thinking about Hillary’s fund raising tours and her displays of near ludicrous incompetence and anti-campaigning.

If you have not seen the movie or the play, CAUTION: Partial spoiler ahead. Stop reading now unless you really don’t care but you should, its one of the funniest movies ever made.

I won’t give away the ending, but the basic premise is that a Broadway play producer is told how he can make more money by a play that flops than one that succeeds, as if he sells 10,000% of the play to hundreds of people, they are unlikely to come looking for their investment back if the play fails. So he sets out with his new partner, ironically an IRS agent, to find the worst play, the worst actors, the worst choreography he can find and goes out fund raising.

The thing of it is, I simply cannot read a story about Hillary Clinton these days without thinking about this movie. Now on the one hand, if this is indeed what she is doing. If she is ‘Brooksing’, or perhaps, ‘Springtime for Hillary’ this election, its the least worst scenario. The worst scenario is that this is indeed what she is doing, but she gets the same outcome as happens in the movie.

Fighting extremism and radicalization in our cupboards and drawers across the West

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It is becoming increasingly obvious everywhere, the most recent incident being Sweden, that we have a very serious problem. One which can only be fixed with a genuine commitment from all Western governments. This problem is ancient. It goes back to before the bronze age most likely but it has become so much worse now and will take thousands of social workers and hundreds of millions of dollars to even make a dent on it.

The problem of course as everybody already knows, is the issue of radicalized butter knives, How this, can become this seemingly overnight and with no warning or notice except perhaps an uptick in internet use and a strange new disinterest in spreading butter.

cutlery extremism

While experts do not exactly understand the root cause of the problem, they speculate that it may have something to do with wifi broadcasts into cutlery drawers and cabinets from extremist websites, as well as possibly over-polishing of some silverware. But mostly experts are stunned at the recent spate of violent extremist cutlery attacks across the Western world from Oklahoma where a giant extreme radicalized dessert spoon took the head off of a secretary while she was having an otherwise normal conversation with a coworker about not wanting to convert to Islam. Not long before that, a British infantryman was killed and also decapitated by a radicalized salad fork that some say had spent a lot of time near a cell tower broadcasting extremist and far right wing propaganda. The extremist cutlery in this case was assisted also by an automobile which also had suddenly decided not to obey the usual rules of the road.

While experts remain utterly baffled by these and hundreds of other violent-radical-extremist silverware attacks like the one in Sweden recently at Ikea, they offer the following video, that while not spot on, may offer a glimpse of understanding as to why these ‘Objets de cuisine’ may transform the way they do.